There are things that I said I would never do when raising my children. I said I wouldn’t snap at my kids. I wouldn’t correct out of anger. I would be patient. I had a long list of things I would never do. Guess what? I find myself doing just those things I said I would not do. I can’t explain for the life of me why I do them.
Boom! Found the answer. It’s called genes.
You see, those pesky genes are so strong, that they have the power to make you behave exactly like people in our families. The same genes that make you look like your dad and make you talk like your mum are responsible for a large part of our character. Secondly, as a child, you are impressionable. You repeat what you see being done around you. So unconsciously, you are picking up habits. Thirdly, if you have not done the healthy work of working on yourself as an adult and working on unhealthy character, you cannot automatically change as an adult.
Oh my! Does that mean I’m done for? That I’m doomed to repeat the same mistakes? Are my children going to carry on this unhelpful cycle of behavior? Surely there has to be a better wa
Yes there is. I have very GOOD NEWS FOR YOU and it is a wonderful 10 letter word called ‘RETRAINING’. What does it involve? Basically, you need to teach yourself new character traits. It means I have to learn patience and self-control. How do I do that? With God’s help and loads of practice. It means you have to learn a new program. Your computer has to be upgraded. It is a lot of work, but it is worth it.
Say for example I’m angry with one of my children. Instead of responding snappishly like I usually would, I have to pause for a while and ask God for grace to be patient. It means I have to be more deliberate in my actions because I have children who are looking up to me.
Why do I have to do this? Because if I want to raise an excellent child, I have to be an excellent parent. Not perfect, because that’s impossible on this side of eternity. Excellence on the other hand is possible, by making intentional choices about my behaviour. In that way, my genes are upgraded and my children can pick the new ones. How is that possible? I don’t know, but it works because somehow genes also are fed by repeated actions. Therefore, the making of that great and excellent child starts with you.
Start modelling the traits you want to see in your children and you’ll be surprised at the results.
Lesson: To raise an excellent child, you have to be an excellent parent. Raising an excellent child starts with you. Start making the necessary adjustments today!
