A nation is only as strong as its people. The quality of a nation is determined by the quality of the individuals that live and reside in it.
However, having said that, the quality of the individual is determined by a number of factors; background, education, exposure, life’s experiences, personality, relationships and several other factors. However the major determinant of the quality of an individual lies in his or her family; how he or she was raised and the experiences associated with growing up. The first gauge of how life is meant to be lived is derived from the family and it would either make or mar a person.
Every individual was born in a family and the home is the place expected to nurture, train and prepare a child for life. A child is not recognized as an adult till the age of twenty-one. Therefore, the family is responsible for honing and preparing a child for the world at large. The quality of the work done by the family during these early years determine how well this person turns out in life. For every individual, the core of who they are is formed in these early years. The family provides the foundation that the rest of our lives are therefore built on. Families are the incubators that prepare individuals for the world and no matter how ambitious or lofty the dreams for any nation may be, it cannot survive beyond the quality of their families.
If we look around us, we see a broken and a fallen world. The essence of our families never leave us. Even when people rise up to the top of their careers, there are still areas of dysfunctionality if they grew up with a warped mind-set that affects different areas of their lives. Studies show that people tend to repeat mistakes made their parents or guardians except they make a conscious and deliberate effort to change the behaviour pattern.
Why is family so important?
Yes, it is the crucible that prepares individuals for life, but is that all? Not exactly. The parents or guardians in every home have roles and responsibilities, which when carried out effectively, brings a permanent shift in the life of the individual. Husbands and fathers are the first point of call where and individual receives a sense of identity and validation. Children who grow up in homes where fathers are present and intentional have been proven to be more confident, self-aware and likely to have a higher self-esteem. By fathers, playing their roles as the leaders, visionaries, protectors, providers of their home, they provide their children with a sense of security, identity and confidence. Wives and mothers are the first point of call where individuals feel loved and feel emotionally whole.
Children who grow up in homes where mothers are present and intentional have been known to be more emotionally stable, more self-aware and feel more loved and appreciated. By women playing the roles of teachers, builders, nurturers, planners, they provide their children with doses of emotional wholeness and the irreplaceable feeling of being loved.
The presence of siblings and family members provide children with the gift of friendship, support, encouragement and having a tribe of people who support them.
Apart from the roles that members of the family provide, the family unit itself was created to provide the essence and foundation that any individual needs to survive. They are:
- Faith: The family is the first point of call where individuals are introduced to the counsel of who God is and His influence and impact in our lives. This provides a vital part of the foundation for any individual.
- Self-Discovery: It is in the safe haven of family that an individual first discovers his or her strengths, weaknesses, peculiarities, passions and interests. In this safe place, character flaws are highlighted are corrected, adventure is encouraged and the person who emerges is a gift to the world.
- Purpose: The family provides the breeding room to discover our calling and assignment. With the guidance of parents or guardians, an individual undergoes the process of discovery of what they were born to do.
- Values: The family is the first place where life values should be introduced, affirmed and encouraged. Families are the first institutions that children are privileged to be a part of and therefore learn modes of operation, what is acceptable and what is not and values that govern daily living. This in return provides a foundation for individuals to determine their value system.
- Character and Life Skills: Families were created to be the training ground for character development and daily living. Character flaws are easily seen and addressed within the concept of family. Skills for living are taught so that individuals are prepared to engage the world at large.
- Marriage and Family: The family becomes the first place to lean about the concept of marriage and family. This should be the ideal place where children learn about the beauty of marriage and family and children. It provides the basic background of how husbands and wives should operate and how children should be raised.
Therefore it is clear that if the family unit functions to optimum capacity, then we will have healthier individuals who are emotionally stable with a strong sense of purpose and thriving relationships. These type of individuals become leaders and influencers that revolutionize their spheres of influence and improve the quality of the world we live. They repeat the cycle by marrying individuals like them, building healthy families and churning out healthy and strong individuals who in turn contribute their quota to developing their quota and in return build their nation. Therefore it is imperative that the family is restored to its original intention.
When the family system is broken or dysfunctional, we have broken individuals who have been hurt by the people who were meant to love them.
We have people who wander about without a sense of purpose or calling of something bigger than them. Broken and dysfunctional families produce people who have no values and a sense of right and wrong. Individuals without identity, a sense of validation and emotional stability become the order of the day.
Does this sound familiar? It should be because this is the kind of individuals our nations are made up of. These people described above have become the order of our day. What then do we expect from these kinds of people when they become leaders in any sphere of life? Chaos of course. Is it then a wonder that our nations are falling apart when the individuals’ personalities are skewed?
More than ever, it is time to pay attention to our foundations. If the family system is broken or dysfunctional, then our nation’s growth will be malnourished and it is only a while before it collapses. We need to take the family as priority so that we can change the tides our nation. We need all hands on deck. We need to teach more, include this in our curriculum, train our boys and girls, train our men and women and raise our children right. This is a matter of urgency and should be taken seriously. Let’s do our part today.
